Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Scientology's trained attack lawyers are once again kicking Operation Clambake in the face, this time by forcing archived versions of the site off of the Wayback Machine. (snarfed from Slashdot)

I'd like to take this opportunity to encourage everyone with any kind of web site to link to Operation Clambake, since the more links Operation Clambake gets, the higher Operation Clambake goes in Google's Pagerank, and currently Operation Clambake is the #2 reported link when searching for "scientology".

Scientology. Remember--it's not a religion, it's a scam that kills people.

Operation Clambake Operation Clambake Operation Clambake Operation Clambake.

Operation Clambake.

Posted by Keeper @ 05:52 PM CST [Link]

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

Heard just a few moments ago, yelled from Mistress's (soon-to-be) bathroom:

"DAMN IT! IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE MY BATHROOM, YOU KEEP THE DAMN SEAT DOWN!"

It's started.

Posted by Keeper @ 04:53 PM CST [Link]

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

Downloaded Battlefield 1942. Yes, I know, piracy, but I'm not going to spend money on a game that I'm unsure of. The download took most of last night.

How I spent nearly two hours today:

Got home from work, excited about playing Battlefield 1942. Hunt for blank CDs on which to burn bin/cue files. Out of CDs.

Urge to kill: Low

Go to store. Purchase 5-pack, because EB is close and that's all EB has and I'm in a hurry. Return home, pop CD-R in brand new TDK 40x/12x/48x and fire off Fireburner. Fireburner initially seems to be acting normally, but yacks at about 80% with some weird-ass error that I didn't bother to write down.

Coaster count: 1
Urge to kill: Low, but rising

Quit Fireburner and try Easy CD Creator, which I quickly discover doesn't know what bin/cue files are. Try to install Nero Burning ROM, version $OLDER_THAN_DIRT. Installation is a miserable failure. Restart computer like nine times to rid me of the evilness. Download and install Nero 5.5.9.9, which is like new or something.

Nero likes bin/cues, and happily begins making a CD for me. I browse the web for a bit and listen to the jet engine-like noises that the CD burner makes, when suddenly everything goes still. Nero is locked up hard, and not even task manager will kill it. In fact, while Internet Explorer remains responsive, nothing else seems to work. I give it twenty minutes, then reboot the computer.

Coaster count: 2
Urge to kill: Moderate

I decide that I might have a problem, so I visit TDK's web site and realize that my drive's firmware is hopelessly out of date. Easy enough to fix. I download the new binary and flash the firmware, and two minutes later I'm back in Nero. This time, I give the first CD a miss and try instead to burn the game's second CD, which comes off like a champ. No lockups, no worries. I pop the CD into my Kenwood 72x and it reads the disc fine. The 72x is touchy as hell, and is a good test of whether the CD is good or not--if that flaky drive can read it, ANYTHING can read it.

Figuring I have the problem licked, I try burning disc 1 again. Nero starts off A-OK, but around 85% it begins spinning the drive up, then down, up, then down, up, then down over and over again. The CD takes nearly ten minutes to finish, but it does eventually finish and reports no errors. I leave the disc where it is and, at about 1.25 hours after I started this crazy endeavour, I start installing the game.

Which stops, at 49%, with an error about not being able to find a file or some shit like that. My head aches in frustration. I retry the installation, and it also craps out at 49%. Angry, I try the disc in my 72x, and the whole computer locks up as the drive ties up the bus and takes over the computer, making everything wait while it tries to read the disc.

Coaster count: 3
Urge to kill: Dangerously high

Now spitting with anger and down to my last CD-R, I yank the power cord out of the computer, remove the 40x, and hook back up my old 8x burner. After getting Windows back up, the 8x chugs like a champ and produces disc 1 in less than eight minutes. The disc is beautifully readable and installs without issue.

After the game is installed, I turn the PC off and replace the 40x. However, once the PC is back on, I try to open the 40x's tray and I am greeted with nothing more than a tiny whine and the barest of tray movements. Like a jilted woman, the burner now refuses to open its tray, even a little bit. The paperclip trick gets it open easily enough, but the motor itself refuses to make the tray go in and out.

Urge to kill: Overwhelming

Shaking with anticipation and anger, I finally fire up the game. I play it for about fifteen minutes, decide it sucks, and uninstall it.

The moral of this tale? Electronics Boutique and Babbage's and Software Etc. all take returns on opened merchandise. Don't have a heart attack trying to make warez work--just buy your games there and if they suck, take 'em back.

Posted by Keeper @ 10:37 PM CST [Link]

While I was talking to a cow-orker, another cow-orker snuck up on the other side of my cube and very quietly perched a huge sign that read "THE HELP DESK -- MAY I HELP YOU?" on top of my bookshelf/cabinet modular thing. I did not notice it for many minutes--I did not notice it, in fact, until two people came up to me and asked me computer questions.

The sign has been destroyed. Revenge will be sweet.

Posted by Keeper @ 01:58 PM CST [Link]

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

Those coming here seeking words of wisdom had better head elsewhere. I have none.

I pray for the families of the victims, and comfort myself with the knowledge that in time, God will judge all.

Posted by Keeper @ 03:08 PM CST [Link]

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

You know that feeling you get when you take a really good crap in the morning and you haven't yet eaten and you feel all flushed clean and relaxed inside, like your body is at peace and you're not tired or sleepy or hungry or anything--just peaceful?

I feel that way. Oh yeah.

Posted by Keeper @ 10:10 AM CST [Link]

Monday, September 9, 2002

So I'm sitting here, right, and I've got these three programs opened on my task bar. I've got Remote Administrator, which lets me take control of any computer connected to our network and use it as if I were physically seated in front of it. Then, next to that, I've got the Altiris Deployment Server Console, which lets me install any piece of software onto any computer connected to our network, as well as turn it on or off remotely and do just about anything to it short of actually blowing it up. Then, next to that, I've got the Active Directory Users & Computers applet, wherein I can manage computer and user accounts for our entire OU.

ph34r me.

Posted by Keeper @ 03:30 PM CST [Link]

Our primary WAN link to our datacenter has been backhoed or something, because it's down. We are instead currently accessing the WAN (and the Internet through the WAN) via our backup datalink, which is a bird-killing Terabeam laser. This is hella cool, except that today is overcast and cloudy and rainy, and the laser is cutting out and dropping packets like crazy. If this keeps up, we're going to have to switch to our tertiary system--an experimental CPIP link (described in RFC 1149).

Posted by Keeper @ 08:36 AM CST [Link]

Friday, September 6, 2002

The Place: My apartment, 2300 hours. Tropical Storm Fay sits stationary outside my window. Rain and wind lashes the glass.
The Game: System Shock 2
The Level: Deck 5, Recreation & Crew Quarters
The Scene: Forward section, in the botanical gardens--used for body disposal by the crew, before The Many took them all.

I'm creeping forward down the red-lit accessways underneath the ship's botanical gardens. Small rooms branch off the main service corridor--rooms which are filled with shallow graves and the bodies of my shipmates. Distantly, I hear the clanking of cyborg midwives, tending to the vile eggs of The Many. I need the damned Crew Section access card, and it's GOT to be on one of these bodies.

The unsavory and terrifying task of searching the corpses of my fellows falls on my shoulders, even as the voice of SHODAN, the mad artificial intelligence, taunts and goads me into action. With trembling fingers I search body after body, crawling under the floor into a tiny crawlspace to reach one poor bastard shoved into a corner. I stand, and come face to face with a shotgun-weilding hybrid.

"SILENCE THE DISCORD!" it howls, unloading both barrels into my face.

I scream. I shove the chair back from the keyboard, and then I leap for the wall, in the general direction of the light switch. While I'm fumbling along the wall for the switch, my avatar is pummeled mercelessly by the hybrid. Horrible shouts and hoarse, grunting screams explode out of my speakers, engulfing me in a symphony of agony and fear as I finally find the bloody light switch. I don't care about the Crew Section access card. I don't care about the damn GAME--I just want to get the bloody damned LIGHTS on, please God let me turn on the lights it's in here it's in here IT'S IN MY ROOM WITH ME OH GOD OH HELP ME--

I flick the lights on, then race to the keyboard and smack ESC.

No more System Shock 2 for tonight. I'll wait until daytime before I try again.

Posted by Keeper @ 11:16 PM CST [Link]

Five years ago, at about 2130 hours in a parking lot outside of Babbage's #9, Mistress and I shared our first kiss and became officially an Item!

It's been a crazy journey, but my life has been wonderful since she became a part of it. Laura, you are my partner, my heart, my conscience, my courage, and my obsession. Hasten to me the day of marriage, for I love you absolutely, and when you are my wife, I will be completed.

Posted by Keeper @ 09:56 AM CST [Link]

Tuesday, September 3, 2002

I was discussing SW: Ep2 with a coworker who is a non-native English speaker and who speaks with an accent. She mentioned that she thought Ep2 had horrible dialogue and awful grammar.

Dude. Do we really need further proof that Lucas can't write for shit?

Posted by Keeper @ 02:11 PM CST [Link]