10/06/2005 Archived Entry: "Your sister!"

It all started with this

It' s a picture of a thirteen foot long python who ate a six foot long alligator, and then burst because the alligator was just too damn big for it. Yesterday, Ryan sent a link to that pic around in e-mail to me and Massurah and a few other guys, and was all like, "Dude, check it out! Woah! Exploding alligator!"

Ryan's a cool guy--we usually eat lunch with him, and he's part of our poker playing cadre. We also josh him, constantly, about his sister. Now, I've never met Ryan's sister, I don't know Ryan's sister, and I've certainly never paid Ryan's sister for sex--but whenever Ryan's in the group, the thing to do is talk trash about his sister. I don't even know how this started, but that's just the thing to do. So, in the spirit of this, I replied-to-all and said, in reference to the snake exploding because the alligator was too big to fit inside of it, "I bet Ryan's sister could have made it!"

Unfortunately, also on the CC: list for the original message was Ryan's dad Ron, who also works here with us. I can only guess that since his name looks so similar to Ryan's, my eyes skipped right over it in the CC: field. Ryan replied back to me, and said, "Nice one, dude--should have checked the to: box before you replied, though."

I thought fast, and immediately re-replied to the original message, saying "And by that last comment, I meant that Ryan's sister, being a fine, upstanding lady with a strong interest in conservation, could have saved the alligator and the python both, then relocated them to an appropriate nature preserve, thus ensuring peace and harmony!" However, I fear the damage was done. Ryan's dad sent me another e-mail, quoting the "I bet Ryan's sister could have made it" message, and said, "What was that supposed to mean?"

I issued a public apology, and so far nothing else has been said, but this morning Massurah sent out an IM to everyone concerned, save Ryan's dad, that said "Remember that time when Lee said Ron's daughter could successfully felate a six-foot alligator - to his virtual face? Good times."

I think it's going to take a while for me to live this down.

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