08/04/2003 Archived Entry: "Motorcycle Safety Foundation"

I took the MSF Basic Riders' Course this weekend. It was difficult--in fact, it was damn-near impossible. The riding wasn't that hard, nor was the classroom stuff. No, the difficult part was dealing with the HEAT. We started on Saturday and on Sunday both at 06:30 (which meant I had to get up at 05:30 Saturday morning and Sunday morning--goodbye, weekend!), but by 09:00, the temperature had already reached near-unbearable levels. By 14:00, the hottest part of the day, the ambient air temperature on the blacktop where we were riding was 120 degrees (Fahrenheit). Throw in a 90% humidity reading, and you have a typical August day in Houston.

Then, toss in fifteen morons--us--standing around in jeans and long-sleeved shirts and jackets with gloves and boots and helmets. It was sweaty. We took water breaks every ten to fifteen minutes, but even with that, I don't think I urinated once. Plus, even with the frequent application of SPF45 sunblock, I am sunburned beyond belief--my skin is funny like that.

We rode until 17:00, both days, and on Sunday we took another hour after that for the practical test. Everyone passed, even the sixty-five year-old ex-biker grandmother, who took the course just to see if she could still ride like she could when she was twenty. She did great, too. She actually dropped her bike twice during the course and crashed into a chainlink fence once, but she picked herself back up and kept on going, and during the test when it counted, she performed flawlessly.

The only other eventful thing that happened this weekend occurred at 02:37 Friday night (or Saturday morning, rather). The Wife and I had gone to bed at around 22:00, since I had to be awake at 05:30, but we were shocked out of sleep at 02:37 by a tremendous pounding on our bedroom window. I sat bolt-upright and slurred something like, "Whathfuckwazzat?", and then went and searched around the apartment with my 6 D-cell Police Brutality Special Edition Maglight. Nothing appeared to be amiss and there were no further disturbances, but I lay awake for another hour while the adrenaline leeched out of my system.

I found out Saturday night that the mysterious window-pounder may have been a pair of my friends, out wandering and looking for someone to play with. One buddy of mine revealed that he too had been visited around 02:00 by the pair, and another buddy confirmed that someone pounded on his door at around quarter after two (in response to the pounding, he called the cops). I don't know if the two friends were drunk or high or what.

I'm looking forward to going to bed way early every day this week. I hurt, and my sunburn hurts.

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